Home Women's Issues Q&A Bottling Feelings

Please Note

This section generally contains selected correspondence which we receive via this website. They are published for general benefit without mentioning any names. Certain questions have been summarised to maintain anonymity. Furthermore keep the following points in mind when reading these questions:

1. Often many people have very similar circumstances. Never speculate about the identity of the person asking.
2. Never look down upon others or regard oneself as better than anyone.
3. Make du’aa for everyone.

When sending a question if you feel uncomfortable with it being published, please make mention of it.

Bottling Feelings

PDFPrintE-mail

Question:

Assalaamu ‘alaikum

Respected ‘Ulama

What is the correct method to overcome bottling up one’s feelings?

Jazakallah

Answer:

Bismihi Ta‘ala

Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

Respected Sister in Islam

“Bottling” one’s feelings is obviously going to become an issue at some stage. When the pressure in the “bottle” becomes too intense, it is likely to “explode”. Therefore, do not continuously bottle up your feelings.

If the issue is such that you can address it in a nice way with whoever it concerns, then do so after carefully considering how best to present the matter.

However, if expressing your feelings will only further complicate matters due to the person being difficult to deal with, nor is it really affecting anything in your life, then make sabr, consciously forgive and get past it. Remind yourself that by forgiving, you have received unimaginable rewards in the Aakhirah. By doing this, you would not have “bottled” up the feelings. Rather, you have “transformed” it into tremendous reward and “transferred” it to the Aakhirah.

Nevertheless, this advice is on a general note. If the matter is much more complicated, you should consult an experienced ‘Aalim about your particular issue and act accordingly. 

Answered by:

Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama