Softness or Sternness in Upbringing?



Assalaamu ‘alaikum

Respected ‘Ulama

I have two children – a four-year old and a three-year old. In today’s times, how do I bring them up? Should I only show them softness? Should softness be mixed with sternness? Which approach is best?



Bismihi Ta‘ala

Wa ‘alaikumus salaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh

Respected Sister in Islam

Upbringing of children, in these times, is often a very challenging task. One cannot leave things to take its own course as this will be disastrous.

While being firm on principle issues, one should generally adopt a loving and soft approach. Being soft does not mean that one must not be firm. Rather, it means that one must not be harsh. Use tact and wisdom to correct the child. At times, deprive him of privileges. Obviously, make a lot of du‘aa.

Refer to authentic books written by reliable ‘Ulama on the topic of upbringing. The articles contained here will also help you in this regard insha-Allah.

Answered by:

Uswatul Muslimah Panel of ‘Ulama