Dealing with Feelings

Question:

Assalaamu ‘alaikum

Respected ‘Ulama

I am thirteen years old and just started high school. I did not know what it felt like to like a boy as more than a friend until now. The boy feels the same way as I do. We both come from respectable households and have known each other for a long time.

As soon as I reached puberty, I stopped playing with him. It wasn’t hard until I started going to the same school as him which was last year. That’s when I realised that I had feelings for him. I’m trying to ignore these feelings but they won’t go away, and I know that it’s wrong to like somebody in this way.

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Advising the Children of Relatives

Question:

Assalaamu ‘alaikum

Respected ‘Ulama

My nephew was playing and I noticed a red string on his hand with something small hanging off it. He was playing and found it, so he put it on his hand. I advised him to take it off as Allah Ta‘ala wouldn’t like us to wear something like that on our hands. I just felt that Hindus wear strings on their hands (especially red ones). Although this was obviously not his intention, I felt that this is something that should be inculcated from early. My sister (his mother) immediately chastised me for saying that to him. She insisted that I’m making him aware of something he didn’t think of, and I was over reacting over such a simple thing, as he was just playing.

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Determining Compatibility with a Prospective Spouse

Question:

Assalaamu ‘alaikum

Respected ‘Ulama

Can you please advise me regarding which questions are most important to ask when a boy comes to see a girl? What questions should she ask, and in which way should she assess him?

Jazakallah

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Blaming Allah for Our Faults

Question:

Assalaamu ‘alaikum

Respected ‘Ulama

A certain person asked me the following question, “Why does Allah cause marriages to end in divorce if divorce is the most detested by Him?” How should I respond to this question?

Jazakallah

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Softness or Sternness in Upbringing?

Question:

Assalaamu ‘alaikum

Respected ‘Ulama

I have two children – a four-year old and a three-year old. In today’s times, how do I bring them up? Should I only show them softness? Should softness be mixed with sternness? Which approach is best?

Jazakallah

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