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The Right Marriage Partner

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Correspondence of Hazrath Moulana Yunus Patel  Saheb (rahimahullah)

Letter:

Respected Moulana

I am seeking Maulana’s advice and guidance in regards to marriage, and would like to know what are the qualities that one looks for in finding a suitable partner, and how does one know that she has found the right person?

Reply:

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem

As Salaamu ‘alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuh

Respected Sister in Islam 

1. Allah Ta‘ala has established such a perfect system with the deen of Islam, that every aspect of our lives is accommodated for, to establish peace, harmony and happiness. So when it comes to nikaah, we find that Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) has offered the best guidance in regards to choosing a spouse, giving us clear direction as to what should be given priority. Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) has asked us not to marry only for a person’s looks, for their beauty might become a cause of moral decline. Not to marry for the sake of wealth, as this may become a source of sin. Marry rather on the grounds of religious devotion. Thus, precedence should be given to deen over everything else. 

2. Together with marrying on the basis of piety, sharee‘ah also takes into consideration, compatibility in respect to lineage, piety, wealth, etc, so that the marriage is a lasting and successful one.  

3. Insha-Allah, the following would offer some guidelines in respect to the qualities you should seek: 

- The person performs salaah five times a day.

- He has the basic knowledge of deen and practices on it.

- He associates with good people, and is not seen in discos, raves or in the company of drug addicts, or with those who have other bad habits.

- He has piety and righteousness

We can only go by what is seen outwardly. However, discreetly, the required information can be obtained by your parents, through family and friends. 

4. If there is uncertainty, istikhaarah offers the best direction, and thereafter, you can make a decision. 

5. Your parent’s approval is also extremely important, for that will secure their du‘aas and blessings, which will be a means of great goodness for you. 

May Allah Ta‘ala grant you a pious and compatible spouse.

Was Salaamu ‘alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuh

Yunus Patel (Maulana)