How to React when Angered


وَٱلْكَـٰظِمِينَ ٱلْغَيْظَ وَٱلْعَافِينَ عَنِ ٱلنَّاسِ ۗ وَٱللَّـهُ يُحِبُّ ٱلْمُحْسِنِينَ

(The people of taqwa are) those who restrain their anger and forgive people, and Allah Ta‘ala loves those who do good. (Surah Aal ‘Imraan v134)

In this verse, Allah Ta‘ala mentions further qualities of the people of taqwa (one quality has already been discussed here).

To become angry is a natural human emotion. Hence, a person cannot, by his nature, choose to not become angry. However, what a person can choose is how to react and respond when his temper flares and his anger is ignited.

In the above verse, Allah Ta‘ala mentions that one salient quality of the people of taqwa is that when their temper flares, then they immediately suppress their anger.

Nevertheless, it is possible that one will refrain from expressing and venting his anger, but will still harbour rancour in his heart against the one who provoked him. Hence, a sign of taqwa is that together with restraining one’s temper, one goes further and also pardons the person, overlooking their offense and cleaning one’s heart from all ill-feelings.

Furthermore, the people of taqwa do not merely ‘forgive and forget’. Rather, such is their noble character that after restraining their temper and forgiving the person who angered them, they will go one step further and show kindness to the person, repaying his ill-treatment with noble behaviour. In this regard, there is a well known incident that can be read here

In another verse of the Quraan Majeed, Allah Ta‘ala explicitly encourages the believers to repay ill-treatment with good character. Allah Ta‘ala says, “Repel (ill behaviour) with that which is better (good character), then the one, whom between you and him was enmity, will become a devoted friend.” (Surah Haameem Sajdah v34)

There are numerous incidents wherein we find that the hearts of people who were far from Deen, or even disbelievers, were affected by good character, leading them to change their lives. Among these incidents is that of Imaam Abu Haneefah (rahimahullah) and the neighbour who would disturb him the entire night (see here).

May Allah Ta‘ala make us from the people of taqwa and bless us with good character, aameen.