What Passed is Past​

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Have we ever pondered over the power of a few words???

A country was at peace – and then a few words of information arrived that the neighbouring country had killed their ambassador... A couple were happily married for thirty years – and then the husband, in a fit of anger, spoke the words of three talaaqs...

A few words – that’s all it takes to start a war or end a marriage.

When this is the power of words and information then how cautious we need to be in their regard!

When a person receives a marriage proposal, prudence demands that before marriage, they should discreetly and tactfully enquire and investigate the character, ways, habits, etc. of the one proposing. Does he take drugs? Does he have a temper problem? Is he violent or vulgar? Is he regular on his five daily salaah in the masjid? Does he have a shady past?

If the person passes the investigation and the nikaah is performed, then after marriage, we should desist from further investigating his past. Since the investigation did not find any cause for concern, it would appear that he is not currently involved in any problem. If there were issues in his life in the past, it would seem that he has sincerely repented from them and has turned over a new leaf. Since we are marrying him for who he is now – not who he was in the past – we should not unnecessarily delve into his archives after marriage. If he has deleted his sins with repentance, why are we digging into the recycle bin?

Often, this becomes a major stumbling block in a person’s marriage. The wife asks her husband or other people whether he ever had a girlfriend before, or she asks other similar questions regarding his past. What is the point of asking these questions after she is already married? By asking, all she is doing is running the risk of hearing words that will bring her nothing but torment, misery and depression. Hence, the couple should focus on their future and should not unnecessarily search for the skeletons in their spouse’s cupboard.

The crux of the matter is that when we are enjoying a happy marriage, we should not look for problems and complications. After all, it takes just a few words to break a happy home...