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What Will Become of Her?

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Last Updated on Thursday, 08 October 2020 08:38

There were many men who would not drink coffee, yet after a few years of marriage, they became regular coffee consumers. Likewise, there were many women who had never drank a sip of tea, yet after a few years of marriage, they became regular tea drinkers.

There are many other examples that illustrate the manner in which one spouse’s ways, tendencies and habits rub off onto the other. It can be as simple as taste in food, or a little more involved such as developing punctuality and fastidiousness. Nevertheless, the point is evident – spouses have a profound effect on one another, to the point of even altering their habits and ways.

This is exactly why it is so important to ensure that one marries the correct spouse. Often, a person is aware of a major Deeni weakness in their potential spouse (e.g. lack of commitment to salaah). However, they feel that it will not affect them, or they will be able to influence their spouse and change them for the better. Though this is certainly a possibility, we must acknowledge that there is a definite possibility that they will imbibe some bad habits and evil ways from their spouse. Hence, without ever regarding oneself as superior or better, nevertheless prudence demands that one refrain from taking such a chance – especially since one’s greatest asset (Deen) is at risk.

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Skeletons in the Closet!

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Last Updated on Thursday, 27 August 2020 16:18

The term ‘skeleton in the closet’ refers to a deep, dark, mortifying secret from a person’s past that they hope will never be discovered. However, since the skeleton is located in such close proximity – secreted within the closet in the house – it’s imminent, accidental discovery is actually rather likely.

There are many husbands and wives who may have old ‘skeletons’ in their closets, although they have now reformed their ways and are currently leading clean lives. Perhaps they were involved in an illicit relationship in their teens or at some other point before their marriage, or perhaps they had other unsavoury habits that they prefer remain buried in the past. In many cases, if these skeletons had to surface, they could completely destroy the marriage and even a person’s reputation and dignity in society. In this regard, there are a few things that we should bear in mind.

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The Garment of Marriage​

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Last Updated on Wednesday, 09 October 2019 15:53

From a kurta to an abaaya, and a pair of pants to a shirt – almost all items of clothing are made in the same way – by joining different pieces of fabric together.

The process, in essence, is as follows:

First, different pieces of cloth are gathered. Then, they are trimmed and cut to size and shape. Finally, they are all joined together with thread and further strengthened through a process commonly known as ‘over locking’.

Now, believe it or not, marriage is exactly the same as sewing a garment. Two different people come together for the purpose of nikaah. In order to ‘fit’ one another and form a prosperous marriage, both have to ‘trim’ and ‘reshape’ themselves, by making adjustments to their ways, and certain sacrifices, for the sake of their partner, as far as their preferences, likes and dislikes are concerned. Finally, they are connected and joined by the thread of love.

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What Passed is Past​

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Last Updated on Saturday, 20 July 2019 08:56

Have we ever pondered over the power of a few words???

A country was at peace – and then a few words of information arrived that the neighbouring country had killed their ambassador... A couple were happily married for thirty years – and then the husband, in a fit of anger, spoke the words of three talaaqs...

A few words – that’s all it takes to start a war or end a marriage.

When this is the power of words and information then how cautious we need to be in their regard!

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The Furnace of Love​

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Last Updated on Monday, 11 March 2019 16:14

Iron is a substance renowned for its strength and resilience. Hence, iron, in its various alloys (a form where it is mixed with another metal) is used extensively in the building industry, especially to support concrete slabs, reinforce foundations, etc. However, have we ever wondered how iron is shaped? After all, we find it available in a multitude of sizes and shapes!

The answer is that for iron to be shaped, it must be heated in a furnace. Once the iron is red-hot, it softens to some extent, becoming malleable (easily shaped without breaking) and accommodating. It is then easy for the blacksmith to mould the metal into the shape he desires. 

In a similar manner, some husband’s have temperaments of ‘iron’. They are ‘hard’ men, unyielding and firm. This certainly has some positives, as such people rarely, if ever, compromise on their standards and values. Furthermore, such people tend to be steadfast, committed, principled and punctual. However, just as everything in life has cons, there are some cons to this as well.

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