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It’s no Secret


Last Updated on Thursday, 28 August 2014 15:11

The marriage of a boy and girl is to be publicly announced. It is not something to be conducted quietly and secretly. It is extremely tragic that nowadays the adultery of people is publicised and the nikaahs are concealed.

That marriage which is conducted secretly is treated very lightly since it does not seem to carry the actual responsibility of a marriage. A couple that has come together by means of a secret marriage may very easily end off their marriage at any time, since there is no fear of having to face the public. Thus marriage becomes a play thing, a conveyance of convenience for the mere satisfaction of one’s desires. Furthermore it lacks blessings, which is one of the most fundamental ingredients of a happy marriage. It is also against the spirit of deen, which emphasises the announcement of the nikaah.


Warmth and Smiles


Last Updated on Saturday, 07 June 2014 07:44

The husband and wife relationship must be one of kindness, compassion and light heartedness. The couple should always be trying to please each other’s heart. In the life of a man, it is indeed a great bounty for him to return home to a wife who is full of warmth and smiles. The mere glance at such a wife is enough to melt away the day’s grief and tension. On the other hand, a man dreads returning to a wife who is shouting and fighting all the time. Indeed husbands must also conduct themselves in a compassionate manner.

Marriage is a lifelong contract which needs to be nurtured and maintained. Our pious elders realised the importance of having a healthy and pleasant marriage life, thus they went out of their way to bring comfort and joy to their marriage partners.


Equality Breeds Disunity


Remember well! In the smooth running of our worldly and religious matters, there has to be a system where one is a leader and the rest are followers. The basis of unity and conformity is when one person who is accepted as being the leader is obeyed and the rest obey. There will never be unity and conformity if everyone wishes to be the leader and no one wishes to follow, or everyone is claiming equality, that everyone is a leader and nobody is a follower.

Thus for unity to exist in a marriage, one partner has to lead and the other has to follow. There is no concept of equality between husband and wife as this is the root cause of disunity. Thus justice demands that the husband is followed and the wife is the follower.


In Privacy, Not Public


Last Updated on Thursday, 20 March 2014 16:07

It is natural that couples now and again become irritated and angry with one another. However one should never lose oneself in public and end up shouting and insulting one’s spouse in front of others. This will definitely be a means of embarrassment for the spouse and will create much bitterness in the marriage. More important than giving vent to ones anger and frustration is keeping the heart of one’s spouse. We need to control and contain ourselves, and train our minds to solve all problems and differences within the privacy and confines of our homes. 


Love and Obedience


A husband and wife relationship does not work on the principle of instruct and obey, where the husband instructs and the wife obeys. Rather it is a relationship of love between the lover and the beloved. It is love that motivates us to be obedient, while our obedience enhances love for us in the hearts of others. Love and obedience work hand in hand in any marriage. In a marriage relationship, the husband expresses and shows his love for his wife and the wife expresses and shows her obedience towards her husband. The husband’s love and the wife’s obedience is what strengthens the bond of marriage. An oppressive husband or a disobedient wife is all it takes to cripple a marriage. If the husband rules with love and affection, then the wife will happily oblige and follow, and if the wife strictly obeys the husband, then the husband will be compelled to be more loving and caring. It nevertheless goes without saying that there can be no obedience to the creation in aspects that incur the displeasure of the Creator – Allah Ta‘ala.


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