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Keep it Under Control


Last Updated on Thursday, 12 February 2015 07:02

The husband getting angry should not be used as an excuse for the wife to also get angry. An obedient child understands that the parent needs to be respected, thus the child despite getting angry, holds back all undesirable words and actions in the parents presence. Likewise, the wife needs to realise the respect that is due to the husband and accordingly she needs to control her tongue and feelings. At times a woman may find it so easy to spend hours in zikr, du‘aa, and in the recitation of the Quraan Majeed, but it is so difficult for her to control her tongue and anger in the presence of her husband. It is indeed a burden on her nafs (inner self) to suppress one’s anger. Thus she should always remind herself of the virtue and reward of opposing her desire and respecting her husband. This will motivate her to remain an obedient and pleasant wife. Later, in a diplomatic and amicable manner, she may address the issue at hand.


Once a Day


Last Updated on Thursday, 20 November 2014 09:49

A common saying is: “An Apple a day keeps the doctor away.” Likewise, some marriages are on the point where the following will apply: “A smile a day keeps Shaitaan away.” This refers to keeping Shaitaan away from destroying the marriage. In many cases, the husband looking at his wife once in the day with love and affection, and the wife speaking even once a day in a soft and loving tone to the husband, may be enough to keep the marriage alive. Obviously, the more this happens, the better.

Unfortunately, some wives will speak to strangers in sweet tones and likewise some husbands will speak with much compassion and even affection with customers, colleagues and other strange women. This is haraam. The sweet tones and affection must be directed to the spouse, not strangers. Out of need, when one has to speak to a non-mahram,  then it should be direct and straight to the point, where the person addressed does not even have the courage to ask anything further. We should also lower and protect our gaze as this will help us to appreciate the beauty of our spouse.


It’s no Secret


Last Updated on Thursday, 28 August 2014 15:11

The marriage of a boy and girl is to be publicly announced. It is not something to be conducted quietly and secretly. It is extremely tragic that nowadays the adultery of people is publicised and the nikaahs are concealed.

That marriage which is conducted secretly is treated very lightly since it does not seem to carry the actual responsibility of a marriage. A couple that has come together by means of a secret marriage may very easily end off their marriage at any time, since there is no fear of having to face the public. Thus marriage becomes a play thing, a conveyance of convenience for the mere satisfaction of one’s desires. Furthermore it lacks blessings, which is one of the most fundamental ingredients of a happy marriage. It is also against the spirit of deen, which emphasises the announcement of the nikaah.


Warmth and Smiles


Last Updated on Saturday, 07 June 2014 07:44

The husband and wife relationship must be one of kindness, compassion and light heartedness. The couple should always be trying to please each other’s heart. In the life of a man, it is indeed a great bounty for him to return home to a wife who is full of warmth and smiles. The mere glance at such a wife is enough to melt away the day’s grief and tension. On the other hand, a man dreads returning to a wife who is shouting and fighting all the time. Indeed husbands must also conduct themselves in a compassionate manner.

Marriage is a lifelong contract which needs to be nurtured and maintained. Our pious elders realised the importance of having a healthy and pleasant marriage life, thus they went out of their way to bring comfort and joy to their marriage partners.


Equality Breeds Disunity


Remember well! In the smooth running of our worldly and religious matters, there has to be a system where one is a leader and the rest are followers. The basis of unity and conformity is when one person who is accepted as being the leader is obeyed and the rest obey. There will never be unity and conformity if everyone wishes to be the leader and no one wishes to follow, or everyone is claiming equality, that everyone is a leader and nobody is a follower.

Thus for unity to exist in a marriage, one partner has to lead and the other has to follow. There is no concept of equality between husband and wife as this is the root cause of disunity. Thus justice demands that the husband is followed and the wife is the follower.


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