Maintaining Moderation in Upbringing #2


(Advice of ‘Allaamah ‘Abdul Wahhaab Sha’raani [rahimahullah])

My esteemed senior, ‘Ali Al-Khawaas (rahimahullah) would mention:

“Beware of speaking gently and displaying leniency with your children when they (tantrum or) have a fit of temper, as this will ruin their character and encourage them to continue defying you in the future. Instead, make them aware of their wrongs, and remind them of the punishment which Allah Ta‘ala has prepared for those who engage in these sins.

Beware of swearing your children or insulting them using indecent or vulgar language, as this will cause them to learn these words and then use them when speaking to their friends, and even when speaking to you!

Do not beat your children excessively, nor should you be too hard and strict on them by perpetually confining them to the house or madrasah, for example, or forcing them to engage in excessive reading. If you do so, it will cause them to lose motivation and enthusiasm, and will create within them cowardice, miserliness and lethargy in carrying out acts of righteousness and worship.

Address their shortcomings and weaknesses from time to time, make du‘aa for them and ensure that you always have their best interests at heart. (After making the necessary effort in seeing to their upbringing,) entrust their affair and outcome to Allah Ta‘ala, as He will suffice you for all the concerns and worries you have regarding your children.”

(Al-Minanul Kubraa pg. 484)